S1, E4: Love is Dumb

Ah, love. That wonderful, soul-crushing, gut-wrenching, occasionally vomit-inducing experience we all seem to chase. My love story? A real slow burn that started in high school, took a pit stop at heartbreak, detoured through a long stretch of "not interested in dating you again," and somehow landed us at "happily ever after." 💘

Valentine’s Day itself? A capitalist fever dream designed to make us spend money we don’t need to, but hey, at least February 15th exists—hello, half-price candy. Instead of overpriced prix-fixe meals, we prefer making dinner at home, mostly to avoid another potential projectile vomiting of a Wawa hoagie disaster. And to really drive home how love is one big, chaotic mess, I took a little dive into the internet's finest collection of heartbreak stories—because nothing soothes the soul like someone else’s romantic failures. 💋💔

Check out the full episode, now!

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Chapters

• 1:06 Start of Episode
• 2:18 Where it all started
• 10:05 Love Sucks

Transcript

 Welcome to Ricci talk shit. The podcast where I, your fearless leader, Ricci, sits on her ass and talks about, well, whatever the hell I feel like talking about. We're going to go into deep dives into the chaos of life. We're going to rant about why pineapple on pizza shouldn't be a debate. And this is where logic is going to take a backseat and fun's going to take the wheel.

Oh, and just so we're clear, this isn't your overly curated, perfectly scripted Pinterest worthy pod. No. No. It's not. It's messy, opinionated, and dripping with sarcasm. If you know me, then you know. So grab a drink, buckle up, and prepare for a rollercoaster of hot takes, unsolicited advice, and random shenanigans that you never asked to know about, but you absolutely need to know about.

This is Ricci Talk Shit, where there's no rules except for one. Don't take anything I say too seriously. Let's sit down and talk some shit.

 What is love? Those are the famous words from 90s group Hadaway, it's also a question of what is love? Why do we engage in it? Why do we seek the need to love someone else? Happy Valentine's Day weekend. I guess it's coming to a close at this point. But there's a lot of love in the air, to say the least.

And for me, love is listening to my significant other on his way home from work, cursing out the person in front of him with road rage, and just saying the dumbest shit, honestly. Telling them that their bumper looks like two butt cheeks because that's why they act this way. They let cars hit them, and when they get hit, the bumper turns into ash cheeks.

So that's just some of the shit that I deal with on a daily basis, but you gotta love em. I guess let's start at the beginning. How did my husband and I meet? Since it's his birthday coming up on Wednesday, let's talk about it a little bit. I make him feel a little embarrassed. It's hard to do, but it's sometimes fun.

Where it all started. Him and I have known each other apparently since 7th grade. He knew me. I didn't know him. I was the loud girl apparently in the hall that he definitely knew. But, we officially met in 9th grade. And that was at a mutual friend's birthday party. He was dating that mutual friend.

And, I felt bad for the sad, lonely boy that was sitting by himself at this birthday party. And I went over to talk to him. and we connected. He was super nice. Turns out that his birthday was going to be in a couple weeks, and it was also Valentine's Day in a couple weeks. Fast forward those couple weeks.

Valentine's Day, he got shit on. She broke up with him, started dating his best friend the next day, and then it was his birthday, and he was a sad little boy. But that's okay. We started hanging out. We had mutual friends in common and we became really close friends and by the time 10th grade hit, the end of 10th grade, we started dating and we dated for, I would say, about nine months, went to a homecoming together.

And we did a lot of fun things in those times. I got to know his friends and I got shot in the ass with an airsoft gun and I still have the scars to this day to remember that. And yeah my left ass cheek has never felt the same since.

When we broke up, he broke my heart and I moved across the country to go to college. And that was fine because I had a great time in college. I met some amazing people, some people that I can still call my best friends today. And at some point around my 21st birthday, I got a text from a unknown number, but it had the area code of back home.

 So I figured it was just someone I knew from back home texting me. What's up? Turns out it was him and he was coming to a realization  in his life that he wanted to make amends to people that he felt he did wrong. In his earlier high school years, later high school years, whatever it is.

 We started talking and I said, when I moved back home. From school that, we can definitely find some time, get together, maybe have some coffee and just hash things out. Coffee became lunch dates became dinner dates, and dinner dates became movies. And I also during that time was trying to introduce him to every one of my girlfriends I can think of, and have him date them because I was not interested in the least in dating him again.

 That didn't work out because 2012, we officially started dating and we've been inseparable ever since. We've had our fair share of Valentine's days together. I guess my favorite Valentine's day is going to be this next segment. Love sucks or love is gross, I guess would be a good segment to call it.

Valentine's Day 2015. We were gonna have this wonderful dinner at this great restaurant in town. We were gonna get sushi. I was super excited for it. I had a Wawa Hoagie like super early in the morning that day to make sure I had enough appetite for dinner because I was excited about the place we were finally trying.

  We were able to get a reservation. We had one. We were all set up. We were ready to go.  We both get dressed up and I'm like I'm not feeling so great, but I'm gonna just, just get through dinner. It's all good. So we park at the parking garage and then we have to walk a good distance, a couple blocks to the restaurant because there was absolutely no parking.

Town was popping. so we get to the restaurant and I'm feeling clammy and disgusting. But I'm like, okay, we're gonna get some sushi. It's all gonna be good. we made it through Champagne toast and we're waiting for dinner and things just are not feeling right I Asked him if we could take dinner to go because things were just not right and I'm not a person that likes to use So I was like, whatever needs to happen, I need to do this at home or at a private bathroom.

And let's just say he was halfway carrying me to the car at this point, because my legs were jelly. I couldn't walk in the heels I was wearing anymore. I was going to pass out. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was clammy. I was sweating. I had fever. I And we got home just in time for me to vomit my entire Wawa hoagie up in the bathtub.

Yes in the bathtub it went, and those pipes definitely have never been the same since that day. Turns out I had the Norovirus, and I had it for thirteen days straight. The worst part was we were finally going to be taking our first vacation together in about three weeks from Valentine's Day.

I was sick for 13 days before that trip. I had no idea if I was going to make it to that trip. I literally thought I was dying. But yeah, the norovirus is nothing to F with. It was horrible. I couldn't eat real food for a while after that. And he took care of me and that's what I knew, we've been dating for two and a half years at this point.

I knew I was in love with this man because he did not blink an eye. He took care of me. No problem. And yeah, we've been together since 2012. It's now 2025 and we've been married since. It's 2019 and yeah, we've just had an amazing life together. We've built so many amazing things together that I never would have thought of that would ever have happened.

just really proud to call him my husband and I love him and love you. Happy almost birthday. And yeah, so that's. It's our love story  Every time we plan something for Valentine's Day, I get sick. So we don't plan Valentine's Day anymore.

It's not really a holiday either of us care about. We like February 15th when you get half price candy. all the sales. So we'd rather do that. We always make a point to go to our local Target, Walmart, wherever to get half price candy and yeah, Valentine's day just isn't our day. It's usually falls around his birthday.

So we're already planning birthday, things for him anyway, or it's just the day that. It's very chalked up by the greeting card company. And it's not something that, we buy each other cards for. There's just no point. It's a lot of money wasted when we can be investing that money or putting it towards something more important.

For this year, for Valentine's Day, I watched the Eagles Parade because he was at work, unfortunately. I watched the Eagles Parade with my mom, and then we made dinner that night, him and I. We made dinner together and that was real special. Things like that are more important to me, making memories like that, than really going out, spending a ton of money, where I'll probably get sick anyway.

Cause Leading up to Valentine's Day this year, I was sick. I had a sore throat. It was itchy. I thought I was going to be like getting sick again. You could probably still hear it in my voice. I still don't feel 100%, but I had to get up here and make this podcast for all of you, five people that listen.

So thank you so much for all of you. But yeah love can suck. Love can hurt. 

Speaking of love hurting, here's another segment that I want to try out and it's going to be love sucks. I was looking on Reddit and I wanted to find some Valentine's Day's gone wrong and I think I found some. So here's one from a poster that says, In sixth grade I had a crush on a girl, and I wanted to send her a rose.

It's something that my school did. But I didn't want her to know it was from me. So I paid one of my friends a dollar to write her name and Happy Valentine's Day from your secret admirer on the card. He went to the desk that was set up at lunch and turned the card in so that they could deliver it to her.

And everyone at my lunch table was watching as one of the teachers delivered the card over to the girl that I had put her name on the card.   once the teacher delivered the card, we continued to watch, and she smiled, giggled while she opened and read it with her friends. And then she jumped up and ran to the desk where they were selling these cards and roses and wrote some stuff down on the back of one, handed it over, and went back to her table.

later. The teacher got up and walked over to my table. She gave a card to my friend, the one that I had write Happy Valentine's Day from your secret admirer. And he got a card from the girl that I was crushing on. She had recognized his handwriting. and wanted to go on a date.

So then he got up and went over to her table and accepted the offer, that jackass. They went on a date and were dating as much as you can in sixth grade for the rest of the year. Then she moved to El Paso at the end of the school year, never to be seen or heard from again. Unrequited love is a bitch. I haven't had a good Valentine's Day since.

Here's another one that's short and sweet. I gave a rose to my crush in high school, in person. She threw it away as soon as I walked away from her. Sucks to be you, bro. Someone commented, you should not have been such a pussy. He retorted, I was 11, cut me some slack. Oh man, these are funny.

 Here's another one. This should brighten your day. The Valentine's Day I realized that the Valentine's cards I had been receiving from my secret admirer for years were in fact from my parents. 

I'm sure. There was good intentions behind it, but that still sucks.

 Here's a cute one for you forever in the friend zone. In high school, I was crazy about this one girl, but she had a boyfriend. So I stayed firmly trusted in the friends category, forever friend zoned. Early February comes around and she breaks up with her boyfriend and we plan to meet up for a dinner a day or two before Valentine's day.

I'm super stoked. I buy her a Valentine's day teddy bear and I'm seriously going to ask her out, tell her all my feelings. I pulled up to her house, and she comes out, she comes running out, super excited, and the first thing she says to me is, me and my boyfriend got back together, aren't you happy for me?

That sucked.

Well, with that said, I think we're going to end our little session today. I think we talked enough shit on love and lovers and embarrassing my husband. But I hope you all had a great time. I know I did.

Let me know what your Valentine's Day stories are like. Leave me some love on social media. Leave me, comments below. Share this with a friend if you thought it was funny. Share it with your entire social group if you can relate. I would love to hear,  some feedback of what you're thinking of these episodes so far and if you're enjoying them and let me know what you thought about these little segments today, if that was something I should continue with or not.

But other than that, I think that's all the shit we're going to talk today. I can't wait to see you on the next episode of Ricci Talks Shit.

 And I'm going to catch you next week. Until then, I hope you have a great day and don't forget, keep talking shit. Okay. Bye.